SONOG & KhabarNepal Forum

Pronunication?
A Indian guy named Anantharaman Subbaraman arrived at the Kuwait airport and ended up waiting for his visa for about 2 hrs for the authorities to call his name, he got fedup and went to them and asked why they havent called his name yet. They said that they have been calling his as 'Anotherman Superman'

Desi Pizza!
Bholaji ordered a pizza and the clerk asked if he should cut it in six or twelve pieces.
"Six, please. I could never eat twelve pieces."

Santa Banta
SANTA SINGH : "When you buy a note book there will be no margin in it. Why is it so?"
BANTA SINGH : "Simple, it is because I always buy the note book from a Margin-Free Market!!"

Desi Broken English Dialogues
"There is no wind in the ball (deflated football)"
"Look at the line on your back" (falling in line)
"Apply Apply, No reply" (common one)
"Why aren't you kneel downing?"
If you talk, I'll kneel down (Always wished he would, but found out that, that's not what he meant)
Cuckoo, Blaady (Kick you, bloody...)
Meet me behind the class (meant after the class).
I talk, he talk; Why do you beech beech talk? (beech, beech = middle, middle)
Maro saale ko: Hit the brother in law.
It's so hot! Please on the fan no.
"Don't talk like that in front of my back"
Pune'ites, and Bombay'ites will understand this - "This is not 'parvadable'"!!!
Did you cut the tickets for the film, yet?
Who took out the breeze of my cykill.
He/she's my co-brother/sister!

See the Indian Guts!
They started the topic that whose soldier had more of guts.
The American general called for one of his men and told him to jump down the ship and take a round swimming around the moving ship. The soldier did as he was told.
When he came back from the water the American said -- "See the guts!"
Now the German general called out for one of his men and asked him to take two similar rounds. The soldier did as he was told.
When he came back from the water the German said -- "See the guts!".
Now the Indian General called out for his most courageous man and asked him to take five similar rounds.
The soldier promptly replied,"Tere baap ka naukar hooon kya?????." At this the general proudly said, "See the guts!!"

Answering Machine!
A sardarji, having bought a new phone with the latest model of answering machine had to disconnect it the very next day.
He was very disturbed when he heard his friend say, "abey, phone utha ke bolta hai ghar pe nahin hoon".

Employment!
A desi was filling up an application form for a job. He promptly filled the columns titled NAME, AGE, ADDRESS etc.
Then he came to the column Salary Expected. He was not sure as to what to be filled there.
After much thought he wrote : Yes

Oh God I cant stop laughing.

A sardarji went to a STD/ISD PCO
and slapped the operator twice.

Guess why ?

Because there it was written
"Number dial karne se pehele do lagae"

lol.....

Once one sardar and one pathan were traveling in one train. Sardar was trying to open his suitcase to take out his night dress, but he was unable to open it. Pathan came and opened the suitcase and said " Pathan Sher ka bachcha hai" and went off .
After an hour sardar was busy in opening his lunch box, but he could not open it. Pathan came, opened the box and said "Pathan Sher ka bachcha hai" and went off .
After some time sardar was trying to open the door of the toilet but he could not. Again Pathan came and opened it with one kick and said " Pathan Sher ka bachcha hai"
This time sardar became angry he asked pathan "oye muzhe ek gal bata, teri ma jungle gayi thi ya sher tere ghar aaya tha?" and went off

Three men - an American, a Japanese and Banta Singh were sitting in the sauna. Suddenly there was a beeping sound. The American pressed his forearm and the beep stoped. The others looked at him questioningly. "That was my pager," he said. "I have a microchip under the skin of my arm."
A few minutes later a phone rang. The Japanese lifted his palm to his ear. When he finished he explained, "That was my mobile phone. I have a microchip in my hand."
Banta felt decidedly low-tech but not to be outdone, decided he had to do something just as impressive. He steped out of the sauna and went to toilet. He returns with a piece of 'Toilet paper' hanging from his butt. The others raised their eyebrows and said, "Wow! What's that?" "I'm getting a fax," he explains.

Santa Singh went to kashmir officially and called to his house over phone.
Sardar had taken the receiver.
Santa Singh : Who is speaking?
Sardar : Servant Sir.
Santa Singh : Where is the Madam?
Sardar : She is sleeping with her husband in bedroom.
Santa Singh : What? I am her husband came to Kashmir today.
Sardar : What can I do now sir?
Santa Singh : Open the cub board, pick the Gun, shoot both of them, come back and tell me, till then I am waiting in the line.
After some time ... there comes 2 shooting sounds ... after that ...
Sardar : Yes, I did Sir. But what can i do next Sir?
Santa Singh : Open the back door, throw both of them into the swimming pool
Sardar : There is no swimming pool in our house Sir
Santa Singh : What...? No swimming pool?
Sardar : Yes Sir
Santa Singh : Sorry, wrong number !

:)

I am really rolling on the floor laughing

Did you stand up?

lol